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Literature Text
The Hero watched his army march
Returned the gates of Heavens Arch
The Day was Done
The Fight was Won
But his joy
Couldn't stop his tears
Soon he would realise his greatest of Fears
This peaceful world was once disturbed
And once again its peace corrupted
By the hands of His Very Own
The Seeds of War already Sown
The little girl
At his side
Who he'd fought for
Hoped to hide
From the horrors of his Side
He held her close
Couldn't voice, through his pride
So in silence
Cried
That was the difference
Between soldiers and men
Were one cannot
The other can
And as that girl
Waved Goodbye
He put his head down
And wished to Die
Returned the gates of Heavens Arch
The Day was Done
The Fight was Won
But his joy
Couldn't stop his tears
Soon he would realise his greatest of Fears
This peaceful world was once disturbed
And once again its peace corrupted
By the hands of His Very Own
The Seeds of War already Sown
The little girl
At his side
Who he'd fought for
Hoped to hide
From the horrors of his Side
He held her close
Couldn't voice, through his pride
So in silence
Cried
That was the difference
Between soldiers and men
Were one cannot
The other can
And as that girl
Waved Goodbye
He put his head down
And wished to Die
Not finished with this
taking suggestions.
taking suggestions.
Comments4
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i like the layout, very styled and well thought out. I also like the description on the subject itself, not the person but
the actual picture i am seeing when reading this. Its a very good poem. I 'definately' like the choice of wording, congrats
i guess the only suggestions i might say would be...
*usually in poems the structure is symetrical, "4 line paragraphs, perhaps some 8 lines"
*perhaps delve a bit deeper into the meaning behind the meaning???
Are you wanting to add something like a couple more paragraphs to the poem, or just alter what you have written?
the actual picture i am seeing when reading this. Its a very good poem. I 'definately' like the choice of wording, congrats
i guess the only suggestions i might say would be...
*usually in poems the structure is symetrical, "4 line paragraphs, perhaps some 8 lines"
*perhaps delve a bit deeper into the meaning behind the meaning???
Are you wanting to add something like a couple more paragraphs to the poem, or just alter what you have written?